Life is something amazing. It's hectic, draining, refreshing, and every other set of contradictory adjectives you could think of. My two weeks of RA training that we do every semester are over and today started the first day of Fall 2011 classes. I can tell this semester is going to be a doozie with a work load equivalent to 22 hours; however, I am completely at ease with that.
Slowly these last three weeks I have been finding myself becoming more and more distant from the Lord as I became more and more busy with the world. I found myself bitter, judgemental, frustrated, and extremely inadequate. This morning though, I woke up early and spent about forty-five minutes in prayer trying to find my way back into His arms. I think I learned more about who I am vs who I perceive myself to be in the past fours days than I have in the last two years. I have been so far from the image of Christ, yet believed myself to be so close. Well, in all honesty, I have been conducting myself as if I was so close but knew I was not who I portrayed myself as.
As I dig deeper into that notion I realize that much of my life is a struggle between who I portray myself to be, who I am, and who I want to be. In the end these charades just end with me feeling completely inadequate. However, when I'm home in Orlando around my good friends and amazing coworkers (or as I call them, boozies&family) I feel free but when I'm intimate with the Lord I feel adequate.
My new boss has a tendency to say, "two birds one stone" and I think there's something very legitimate about that. When I walk in my identity in Christ I feel adaquate. I feel worthy and untouchable. It's who I am and in that I can walk in the person I want to be, because all else matters none. I realize that it doesn't matter who I am worldly when I exist from the heavenly, which allows me to be whoever I please in the earthly. Walking in my identity in Christ allows me to be the person I am with my boozies and the man I am with the Lord both at the same time. It truly is,
"two birds, one stone."
